my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
