i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
