if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
