so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You may now shotgun with the bride
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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