I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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