Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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