Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I look better un-naked...
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize