Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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