It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
