Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
