I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
