Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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