Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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