I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
