Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
