I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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