No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
