now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
