I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize