i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I currently don't understand fingers.
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