So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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