She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
