All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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