I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
