Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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