So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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