You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
