I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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