Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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