how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
