census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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