i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
