I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
