community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
