rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
