i always forget guys have bellybuttons
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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