I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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