Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She's JV to your varsity
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
