he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
MIDGETS
????
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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