well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
