So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
In America we eat man semen.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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