He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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