there's paper in my vomit.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize