Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
