I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
