If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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