i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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