i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
