i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize