We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
