the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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