He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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