Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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