I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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