My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
