She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
